Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You pole danced in your parka.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
