I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
