absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
