So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
