...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
