She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
