he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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