I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
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