We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
