Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
