Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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