Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
