I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
