do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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