Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
