4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
