Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
