pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
