Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
