I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
