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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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