'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
