I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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