I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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