dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
