Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
