my phone needs a breathalizer
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
