Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
