Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
