the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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