Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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