Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
