I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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