My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I've blown a few things in my day
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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