That's intense
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
