I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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