i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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