You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
