If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
