I queefed so loud it echoed.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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