Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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