Buhtt sex?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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