I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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