I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
40s are totally the cure
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Randomize
