Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
