Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my sisters under your porch take her home
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
