R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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