ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
and she was petting her beer can
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
