So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
