I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
