Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Your penis caused this!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
